apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
