remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
