I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
