Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
