the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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