So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
