ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
