I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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