You just made me feel so damn special
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
