I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
