I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My feet surprised me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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