they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
NoShamevember. You game?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
