did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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