so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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