Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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