My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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