We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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