They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
