don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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