Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
