Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
