My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize