Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
