Nicole vs. Life
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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