If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize