The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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