The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize