your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
