why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
that's an acceptable place to lick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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