I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
two words...techno handjob
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
