haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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