what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
