I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
