You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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