i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
