ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
