Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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