would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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