i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
