And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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