Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize