She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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