Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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