GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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