Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
