I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
