So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
