Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
