I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
