the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
