I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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You. Win. At. Life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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