i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize