thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pooping to opera.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize