It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
