he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
