Whod you bang
I am spending my child support on dildos
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
how drunk are you?
Several
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
