He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
