So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
