Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
