So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
