you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
