have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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